This Is a Football: Why the Fundamentals Matter in Marriage

Back to Basics: What Football Taught Me About Love

In July of 1961, the Green Bay Packers showed up for the first day of training camp. The previous season had ended in heartbreak—they blew a late lead and lost the NFL Championship to the Philadelphia Eagles. The off-season was brutal, and the players were eager to learn new strategies, new plays, new ways to win. Their coach, Vince Lombardi, had other plans.

He walked into camp holding a football and said, “Gentlemen, this is a football. That’s it. No fancy speech. No secret playbook. Just a ball in his hand and a reminder that greatness starts with the basics.

These were professional athletes—men who had come within minutes of winning it all—and Lombardi took them back to square one. Blocking. Tackling. Page one of the playbook. Over and over again.

That season marked the beginning of Lombardi’s legendary run. Five NFL Championships. A name etched in history. All because he refused to skip the fundamentals.

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Whenever I hear stories like that, my brain immediately goes to relationships. (Hey, it’s my thing. Ha!) If success in football depends on mastering the basics, what about marriage? What are the fundamentals that make love last?

For me, the answer comes from Galatians 5:22-23. Whether you believe in God or not, these qualities are hard to argue with:

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control.

Pretty solid fundamentals, right?

So here’s my game plan: This post and two more will focus on three of those—Love, Joy, and Faithfulness. Bobby and I lean on these every day. We’re far from perfect (trust me), but even small gains in the basics can transform a marriage.

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The First Fundamental: LOVE

Here’s the truth: The more you know someone, the more flaws you see. That’s why people say, “The honeymoon is over.” It’s not cynicism—it’s reality. Real love begins when the sparkle fades and the hard truth shows up.

But here’s the kicker: What if you knew—really knew—that no matter what, the person beside you would love you anyway? That’s what I call ridiculous grace. Unconditional love.

Conditional love says:
I’ll love you only if…
Unconditional love says:
I’ll love you even if…

Conditional love says:
If things get too hard, I’m out.
Unconditional love says:
I’m staying. No matter what.

Conditional love says:
I might not forgive you if you tell me certain things.
Unconditional love says:
Tell me anything. I’ll still love you.

Sounds basic, right? But basic doesn’t mean easy.

If you choose conditional love, your relationship will suffer. You’ll live like two immature kids keeping score. And if you stay married (which is doubtful), you’ll miss out on the joy of a great marriage.

It all comes down to a decision:
Will you give up the illusion of control that comes with loving “with strings”? Do you really think those strings will make your partner treat you better—or keep them from leaving?

Which person would you fight to stay beside?
Me? I’ll take hard truth and ridiculous grace every time.

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Next up: JOY. Because love without joy feels like a job—and nobody wants that.

^“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law”. Galatians 5:22-23

Now this ‘hard truth and ridiculous grace’ thing. Did you think I thought that up? I’m not that clever. Listen to one of my favorite artists sing one of my favorite songs “Known.” You’ll soon understand. Ahh, so good.