• Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    How To Show Appreciation To the Love of Your Life

    Growing up, my family had the best tradition at Thanksgiving. Gathered around the table, we would each take our turn and share what we were most thankful for that year. My brother was always funny, as he’d take the opportunity to poke fun at everyone for things that happened throughout the year. But then, right at the end, he’d hit us with the sentimental zinger that always made me and Mom cry. Dad and Mom always said they were thankful for the same thing every year: Family. I don’t remember what I said, but I recall how those words of appreciation reminded us that were weren’t just four people existing…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    The Sound of Silence

    Early in our relationship, I often gave my husband The Silent Treatment when angry or hurt. My passive-aggressive versus Bobby’s assertive communication style confused, angered, and wounded him. And he was having none of it! He would sit right in front of me and not leave until we talked the issue out. I wasn’t used to that kind of forward-facing communication, it made me uncomfortable, and in those early moments, I thought he was a bully. I shake my head now, remembering those interactions. Me, arms crossed and pouting while doing Cirque du Soleil-like contortions to avoid looking at him. Him putting his face directly into mine and repeatedly asking…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    How To Tell Your Girl She’s Beautiful

    “It’s not you. It’s me.” In our culture, the standards for womanly beauty are hard to attain and so unkind. Whether little girls, teens or “prime women,” we’re told we’re imperfect and undesirable. These messages are fired like arrows into our souls until, deep down, we feel like we’re not enough. Can’t possibly be attractive. This is why you must tell your girl she’s beautiful. This is rubbish, by the way. I know this; you know this. How do I know this? God says so. It’s OK if you don’t think the way I do about God. You’re welcome here, and I hope I’m welcome with you. But I think…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Charming

    This one’s for every woman who’s still waiting for her Prince Charming to show up. Maybe he just got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Or maybe he doesn’t exist. But I can tell you who does exist—and believe me, he stands head and shoulders above His Highness. The Myth of Prince Charming When we’re young, we’re sold the idea of finding Prince Charming. He’s handsome, perfectly mannered, and probably rich. Then some of us get older and trade that dream for The Bad Boy. He’s mysterious, edgy, and thrilling—until we “fix” him and turn him into husband material. Spoiler alert: He doesn’t exist either. Who Does…