Keeping Your Marriage Close During a Home Renovation
A true story about dust, a brand‑new sliding door, and a breakfast ritual that kept us close during chaos.
If you’ve never lived through a renovation, imagine inviting a small construction crew to move in with you. Not officially, of course—they just… show up every morning at 8:02 am with boots the size of cinder blocks and coffee strong enough to wake the drywall from its eternal slumber.
Your house stops being a house and becomes a living, breathing obstacle course.
There’s a guy knocking down a wall like it owes him money. Another is carrying a saw the length of a Buick through your living room while explaining measurements that sound like math but you’re just not sure. Dust? Everywhere. On your eyelashes. In your coffee. Settling directly onto your soul. You wipe it off one surface and it reappears on a different surface you didn’t even know existed until five minutes ago.
Every day is the same rhythm:
knock knock (they never actually knock)
“Mornin’!”
and then the immediate roar of machinery—perfectly timed with the exact moment you unmute yourself for a remote meeting with your boss.
Eventually you learn to do everything—emails, phone calls, existential questioning—while someone stands one floor up cutting boards on a spinning blade that sounds like you’re being chased by a scary guy with chainsaws.
You eat every meal in the Family Room, now home to the microwave, the refrigerator, and the permanent scent of we are doing our best.
It is chaos. Beautiful, maddening, life‑disrupting chaos.
And right in the middle of it… is where the romantic moment shows up.
The Sliding‑Door Dream
One part of this renovation is turning the dining room window that overlooks our patio into a sliding glass door. And this patio… it’s one of our favorite places. It’s private, it’s peaceful, and it’s where we love to sneak away for quiet, romantic dinners. The fountain out there has this soft, tinkling sound that instantly calms the whole world down.
Of all the changes happening in this renovation, this is the one I’ve been waiting for—the one that brings the outside in and makes our home feel even more like us.
The Morning That Stopped Me
Finally, it was the day the crew installed the door.
That evening, we stood in front of it. Then stood some more. Just admiring. Just imagining.
The next day was Saturday, and I suggested we eat breakfast in the Dining Room.
To be clear… there is no Dining Room.
No furniture. A stripped-down floor. Bare walls. Construction materials everywhere. But I didn’t care—not one bit.
The next morning, I made eggs and toast in the middle of the half-demolished kitchen. (The crew, bless them, uncovers the stove every night and plugs it back in so we can use it.)
I walked around the corner into the Dining Room—arms full of plates—and this is what I saw.
The View in Front of Me
By the new sliding glass door sat a tiny round table with two folding chairs placed neatly on either side. The table was set—plasticware, cups, everything—simple and sweet and thoughtful. The patio and trees framed it perfectly through the new glass.
The Reality Behind Me
Behind where I was standing: the full renovation scene. Construction materials. Tools. Drop cloths. Stacked boards. A room in transition.
I stood there, plates in hand, stunned.
And the person standing near that little table looked up with a smile—the kind that says, “I know exactly what this means to you.”
Bobby did it again.
In the middle of chaos… he made a moment.
The table stayed there all weekend, like a little pocket of peace carved out of the construction zone. On Monday morning, when the crew came back in, the foreman walked through, noticed the setup, and said with a wink,
“I see that you’re enjoying your new door.”
And that’s when I realized just how much this small gesture mattered.
Because when they finished their work that day, we noticed something sweet: the crew had moved the table and chairs right back in front of the door, exactly where they’d been. Not shoved aside, not piled with tools—placed thoughtfully, like they understood it meant something.
That’s when the gratitude settled in deep.
For Bobby, who can turn folding chairs and a tiny table into a moment I’ll remember forever.
For the ability to even do a renovation, messy as it is—because not everyone gets to make their home new again.
For a considerate, respectful crew who treats our chaos with care.
And for God, who has a way of slipping good things right into the middle of our unfinished places—
because if we, imperfect as we are, still know how to give good things to the people we love, how much more will God give exactly what His children need?
Sometimes the sweetest gifts show up in the dust, in the noise, in the middle of the mess.
And sometimes they look like breakfast by a brand‑new door.
“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” Mathew 7:11
Moments always put a song in my head. This time it was “Gratitude” by Brandon Lake — which felt pretty perfect while standing there holding plates in the middle of a construction zone and feeling all mushy. Here’s the song if you want the soundtrack to this story.
Related Post: The Love That Lasts Isn’t Loud
If you’d like to read something about what I think lasting love looks like, try this: The Love That Lasts Isn’t Loud.
4 Comments
Rhonda Ficca
I loved reading this article. You are truly a gifted writer Lori. What a great idea to open that wall up and extend it to the patio. So refreshing. Sometimes new ideas gives us a new season, another perspective, fresh manna. May the Lord continue to bless you and Bobby. You are soemthing girl. God knew what he was doing when you both found each other.
Lori
Wowww, you made my day. No, my week, Rhonda. “Sometimes new ideas gives us a new season, another perspective, fresh manna”. So true. So true. I’ll have to percolate on that thought for a while. May the Lord continue to bless you and your sweet sister and BIL.
Kath
Lori, you so eloquently and beautifully captured the positives of a renovation – something most people find a horrendous experience. Not you – you see the Lord in everything! You see your reno as God’s lessons in patience, as well as the chaos leading to a profound feeling of gratitude toward your caring and thoughtful workers – and gratitude for the ability to undertake the process to begin with. Also, not surprisingly, as a bonding experience for you and Bobby. 😊 Like many, I so recognize that picture of a construction zone in the middle of the house. I also recognize those folding chairs! I love you sister!
Lori
Sister, you so get me. I love you.