• Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    Two Worst Days in Bed

    Bobby and I have spent the whole day in bed together twice. Neither was for a romantic reason, but both resulted in romance. I’ll share the other story at the end. This time was in 1997 and was the day after one of our worst days racing. When we decided that we were going funny car racing, Bobby called Harry. Harry was an acquaintance at the time but became Bobby’s mentor and in many ways, just like a dad. He was an NHRA national record holder and knew his stuff. He gave Bobby advice like “Sit in a funny car with the body down first. You’ll know right away if you…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    Long Line of Love

    I met my husband Bobby in September of 1981, and just three months later, I was headed to Western New York for Christmas to meet his entire family. They hadn’t even heard my name until Bobby called to say he was bringing me to the festivities. I only caught his side of the conversation, but one thing was clear—his mom thought I was too young for him. Gulp. As we walked up to his parents’ front door, I heard a boisterous yell and the sound of running feet. The door flew open, and a laughing, beautiful woman launched herself into Bobby’s arms. They hugged and kissed, words tumbling over each…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    Sacred Saturdays

    I attended a wedding in which the pastor encouraged the bride and groom to get their PhD Degree in the other. It struck me immediately that Bobby and I have this kind of intimacy, and that it has significantly contributed to our happiness. I think the benefits are: We are more understanding and patient with each other’s weaknesses and see and appreciate each other’s strengths. We know the buttons NOT to push which reduces our interpersonal conflict. It is fun and relaxing to have our best friend right in our own home. Being known by someone is good for our health. No, really! Sex is much more likely to happen…

  • Marriage & Keeping Intimacy

    Commence with the Romance

    I am obsessed with the show This Is Us. One reason everyone loves this show, besides the fact that Jack Pearson is hot (Did I say that out loud?) is because Jack and Rebecca’s relationship is so fantastic. Come on, they seriously got it goin’ on. He’s not perfect. She’s not perfect. But together – they’re imperfectly perfect. One of my favorite scenes is a Date Night they share. Jack is a recovering alcoholic who has slid back into his addiction.  He is fighting it again, but he is sad and embarrassed. He is reluctant to reopen the wounds from his past, and he certainly doesn’t want to talk about…