Marriage & Keeping Intimacy
Love doesn’t fade—it just needs attention. This section is for couples who feel the spark slipping and want to reconnect. We explore relationship intimacy tips, emotional closeness, and how to reignite the bond that brought you together in the first place—because soul-deep love is still worth fighting for.
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Tips for Marriage Preparation You Must Know
Most people want to get married and at some point, they decide that they’ll commit. But, as a thirty-seven year happily married woman who has counseled unhappy couples, here’s what I’ve learned. When it comes to marriage and life, commitment is great. But preparation is where it’s at. I want you to be happy, too. So, I’m passing along what I know about how to prepare for marriage. Racing taught me this lesson early. My husband, Bobby Martin, and I formed a professional Top Alcohol Funny Car drag racing operation in 1991, culminating in an NHRA US Nationals Championship, a Division 3 Season Championship, and a national Top 10 ranking.…
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How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Falling Apart
Is your relationship failing? Maybe he had an affair. Maybe you did. Maybe money is tight and you worry all the time. He is just not holding up his end of the bargain. It was supposed to be different. You don’t talk anymore or you fight too much. Perhaps you are feeling alone in your relationship in every way. Perhaps you started out strong, but things have led to you just not feeling the love anymore. She’s changed and won’t sleep in the same bed anymore, let alone have sex with you. These are real tough situations that a lot of people find themselves to be in. They hurt. But…
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The Sound of Silence
Early in our relationship, I often gave my husband The Silent Treatment when angry or hurt. My passive-aggressive versus Bobby’s assertive communication style confused, angered, and wounded him. And he was having none of it! He would sit right in front of me and not leave until we talked the issue out. I wasn’t used to that kind of forward-facing communication, it made me uncomfortable, and in those early moments, I thought he was a bully. I shake my head now, remembering those interactions. Me, arms crossed and pouting while doing Cirque du Soleil-like contortions to avoid looking at him. Him putting his face directly into mine and repeatedly asking…
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Did I Make This Whole Thing Up?
I record random quotes that people say to me. Some are profound—some funny. I wrote one down a few years ago from my niece, who earned her doctorate at Yale. Referring to a final paper she was writing, she said, “Sometimes you come to a certain place in your argument and you wonder, did I make this whole thing up?” I laughed so hard; you would’ve thought I was front row at a Jim Gaffigan show listening to his Hot Pocket segment. But sometimes I’m not laughing, because I need to know how to be a better wife. Sometimes when I’m offering advice, I feel like a fraud. I’m supposed to…